For a long time, I eluded questions about what I wanted to do with my life with the trite “I want to do something meaningful” (or sometimes, “important”). 20-something years in, though, I still had no clue how to even define a “meaningful” endeavor.

Then I read a play where some dude said “there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.” And the more I thought about it, the more I understood what he meant.

The best I can do now is this: meaning is that which gives us purpose; it’s what inspires us to wake up in the morning and what we hope to leave behind once we’re gone. But that’s as specific as I can get, because meaning isn’t like the charge of an electron. It’s not something you can find hidden in an ancient text, written in the stars, or encoded into the laws of nature. Well, maybe you can. And that’s the point. 

Unlike other universal constants, meaning has no external reality. It’s entirely inside your head. But it’s not like other stuff that floats around up there. You can compare business strategies you’ve brainstormed with those that others have generated. You can determine whether a given course of action is moral or immoral (according to some code of ethics). But meaning is beyond comparison or valuation; it just is. One meaning is not more valuable, true, or correct than another. The word “meaningful” is a bit of a misnomer; reality is only “full” with meaning so far as we fill it, so far as how we choose to fill it.

Answering the question of my life’s purpose by saying that I want to do “something meaningful” is a tautology. It sounds profound, but it “signif[ies] nothing”. The hard work, the real work, and perhaps the only work is actually defining what that meaning is.

Lots of people “just want to be happy”. But I see this personally as a terrible goal.

I think most people misidentify happiness in their lives. They conflate it with excitement, anticipation, lust, or another more powerful, transient feeling. But happiness is boring. Happiness is stasis. It’s the in-between that we ride through calmer waters after cresting a wave of more powerful emotion, and we adapt to it rather quickly.

Success conjures up a cacophony of emotions. Thrill at the accomplishment, delight at any praise you might receive, wonder at the feat that has been conquered, and anticipation for the next one. When these fade, happiness is what remains. It’s special not in its intensity, but in its staying power. Happiness lasts.

Moreover, happiness is an effect, not a cause. For me, happiness is a byproduct of honoring my values and achieving my goals. It is a feedback signal that I’m living a meaningful (see Principle #1) life, and nothing more. It’s a good feeling, and certainly one I’d choose to pervade most of my conscious hours, but pursuing it for its own sake is putting the cart before the horse. I don’t pursue happiness for the same reason that Nobel Prize winners do not pursue the award; it is merely recognition for having done many other things “right”. That’s not to say I don’t enjoy it when it happens, of course.

Humans crave challenge and relish in adversity, or at least we do once we’ve overcome it. So if I don’t want to “be happy”, what do I propose instead? Slightly better advice would be to “overcome challenges”, “solve problems”, or “live meaningfully”. Happiness will still result.

I’m not a minimalist, at least, probably not in the way you think of the term. I own a lot of stuff. My walls are filled with decorations that range from tasteful to eccentric. My closet is filled with clothes in a variety of colors and styles. I definitely get my money’s worth from my Amazon Prime membership.

But I do try to apply the minimalist philosophy relentlessly to my life. A few things done well are far more impressive than a slew of haphazard work. Experts are valued most for their expertise (thanks, Captain*) in a specific area, not their encyclopedic breadth of knowledge. Too many options paralyze us and make us less satisfied when we do finally decide. In short, our attentional space is limited, and I prefer to honor that constraint rather than attempt to rationalize my way out of it.

Let me not be misinterpreted: less is not always better. I do value autonomy. Complexity can be necessary, and even beautiful. But the modern world makes the complex and varied the default option, spurning simplicity as a bland and boring non-alternative. I prefer to do less as a way to make things better. Sometimes it is an inappropriate tool for the job of improvement. Often, it is the perfect one.

I am constantly tempted by “shiny object syndrome”: to abandon my current course of action in favor of something newer, brighter, and more enticing. But I’ve also discovered that novelty is a false idol, and that the grass is usually just as green on the other side of the fence as it is right in front of me. So long as I’ve put in the work of making sure I’m in the right pasture, the most important thing I can do is focus on the most impactful tasks to my goals, and they’re usually standing right in front of me.

* That’s Captain Obvious to you.

Learn to live with your fears. Embrace the uncomfortable. Do things because you’re scared.

Wonder. Explore. Try things even when you think you know what the result will be. It’s okay to be four-years-old, no matter how old you are.

Do hard things. Do hard things consistently. Don’t make excuses. Don’t think too much.

Execute to the best of your ability. Reject proposals you can only contribute to halfheartedly. Perfection is a harmful myth.

Give unquestioningly. Give uncomfortably. But importantly, give thoughtfully; the giving can be worth much more than the gift you present.

Empower others with the truth. Stand by your word. Most importantly, do not lie to yourself.

You’re owed only what you sow. You deserve only what you earn. You are more like others than you are different.

Listen to others. Understand how your actions impact them. Make charitable assumptions.

Everything can change. Everything can be changed. Accept the fluidity of reality and roll with the punches.

Prioritize others (with intent). Meet people where they’re at. Assume lightly, if at all.

Question things, especially when they make sense. Think critically. Believe things because you believe them, not because others do.

Prepare yourself to bear heavy loads. Support others where you can. Acquire proficiency one increment at a time.